Good Daddy, Bad Daddy

My oldest kids have gotten into the habit of hitting when they don't get what they want, and I'm not sure what to do about it. I can tolerate it for a little while, depending on my mood. Then once they've passed my tolerance threshold I snap and hit them back. Not hard. I don't want to give the impression that I beat my kids or anything, but it's hard to react to them hitting me by hitting them back. I have a feeling that this is not the answer to the problem.

Inevitably, after this exchange, which ever child it is will start to cry, and I feel like the worst parent in the world. So, I comfort them and apologize for losing my temper. After life goes back to its usual chaos I wonder just how bad I'm screwing my kids up. How many hours of therapy am I causing my poor children?

I can't imagine this game of good daddy, bad daddy is good for my children's Psyche. It must be like living with a really tall schizophrenic person. One minute I'm yelling at them, the next I'm a source of comfort. I'm not a naturally anger person. I don't loss my temper very easily, but maybe I should consider some sort of anger management. However that still doesn't solve the hitting problem. I'm sure there's some sort of Dr. Spock solution that I won't really agree with. Even if kids did come with an instruction manual I doubt it would apply much to my kids. Or anybody else's kids for that matter. I'm sure at some point this issue will work itself out. I hope so anyway.